Where you may sabotage yourself

After so much rain, I am greeted by the sun and the wind. I am thankful for the light. My spirits are high, and my mood is bright. Worries seem distant, and I feel hopeful. Yet nothing has changed except the weather.

In Summer, I do not have to work as hard to remain in the light. We are rolling into the season of grace. The dominant sun shines its light on all parts of us, illuminating what we want to see—and what we would rather not see.

In my retreats, I often speak about the well of our soul. Its deep, dark waters are mysterious, unknown things stirring deep within, influencing how we think and feel. When the sun is high, the light shines into the well, illuminating the dark waters of our soul and everything that stirs beneath.

Summer lets us know ourselves deeply when we dare to look down into our well. With the rising light, I can now clearly see where and how I am still sabotaging my growth. I can see how I still sometimes speak only to please others. I can see how I waste time in pointless pursuits because I am afraid to be rejected or feel disappointed in myself when I do the things that matter. And I can see how I am inclined to pray the wrong way, asking life for favors instead of providence and grace.

I can also see where I am true to myself. I can see how I am taking good care of my physical and emotional well-being through practice and exercise. I can see how I am deepening my grasp of the inner workings of life with the time I dedicate to observing, studying, and writing. And I can see how I continue to eliminate the cruft in my life and focus on the bare essence of what I am here to do.

As we develop our maturity in the seasonal cycle, we are strong enough to look. The Stoics deemed self-knowledge one of the highest virtues in living a good and authentic life. I invite you this week to look into your well. Be true, be honest, and let the sun illuminate both your darkness and your grace. This will help you take the necessary steps on the road to your mature self.