The light grows stronger every day. Despite endless spells of rain, the interspersed moments of sunlight feel powerful and nourishing. Last week, I have been thinking a lot about the mystery of life, or the fundamental inability to comprehend what life truly is, where it came from, and where it is going.
Something powerful happens when I allow myself to linger on the unknowable. What I cannot fully grasp or know, I can at times intuitively feel. I can momentarily comprehend the nature of life without truly understanding it, only by becoming something beyond my mind’s capacity. It is a merging with something invisible that evokes compassion, love, and acceptance in my being, where I cease, and something else begins, radiating joy for no apparent reason.
I can only open that door when I surrender my desire to know and leave myself behind. The act of offering myself needs to be sincere and authentic. I need to be fully willing to release control and momentarily step out of my cherished self, bare and defenseless, facing a more significant power. It invites me to trust something invisible, regardless of what may happen.
Faith is more demanding than trust. To have faith means the dedication to uphold it in the worst of times, especially when I sincerely doubt the existence of some higher power or have lost my trust in the goodness of life. I mentioned to a friend the other day, ``As soon as I have the thought whether God exists, God ceases to exist.’’ Practicing faith means I dare to move beyond myself and my doubts into a space where who I am or what I think is not the most important thing. Here, I can clearly see the proliferation of love is paramount, regardless of my personal circumstances.
I embody the spirit of Summer when I can fully embrace whatever comes my way as an act of love. It is a clear sign that my young and self-centered part is maturing.
Published on by Sacha Post. This essay is part of the weekly letters. Explore more essays on summer in the archives.